Pregnant stay-at-home mom of a 3-year-old with a housekeeper and nanny tells her CFO husband making 7 figures annually that she feels like a single mom: 'I know he works hard, but it feels like he is completely absent from our lives'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Dec 2, 2024 8:00 PM EST

Everyone has a God-given right to complain about their lives. One of the best plays of all time is about a whiny, rich, 30-year-old unemployed prince whose mother married his uncle, the very Uncle who was responsible for his father's demise. Some might say that Hamlet is a spoiled brat, but you'd have to have some pretty bad reading comprehension skills to say he has no reason for complaining and being the way he is. 

Most of us have a lot less tolerance for the complaints of real rich people over fictional ones. The situation detailed below is unique in how it might divide people. Some might say that this stay-at-home wife should be realistic about how much work is required of her husband to maintain the lifestyle that they have, and others might insist that he take a tiny step back from work to prioritize his family in the slightest.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10436225024
    via Wesley Tingey (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for Telling My Husband | Feel Like a Single Parent?
    via u/Master_Boss5842
  • 03
    I (26F) have been married to my husband (35M) for four years. He's the CFO of a major company and earns a seven-figure salary. We live a very comfortable life, with a three-year-old daughter and another baby on the way. I am five months pregnant. From the outside, everything probably looks perfect, but lately, I have been feeling completely overwhelmed.
    via u/Master_Boss5842
  • 04
    My husband's job is incredibly demanding. He is usually out the door before our daughter wakes up and does not come home until long after she is asleep. Weekends are not much better since he is often catching up on work or attending events for his career. We do have help with a full-time nanny and a housekeeper, but when it comes to parenting and actually being present, it all falls on me.
    via u/Master_Boss5842
  • 05
    I am the one managing our daughter's needs, navigating tantrums, celebrating her milestones, and making sure she feels loved and supported. I coordinate everything with the nanny, ensure the house is running smoothly, and handle the emotional labor of keeping our family together. Now, with another baby on the way, it is all starting to feel like too much. I do not need him to take over chores or manage the house. I just need him to be more involved as a husband and a father.
    via u/Master_Boss5842
  • 06
    after another long day of doing everything on my own again, I finally broke. He came home late again, and I told him I feel like a single parent. His reaction caught me off guard. He immediately got defensive and said I was ungrateful and did not appreciate everything he does for us. He pointed out how much he provides financially and said my "complaining" only adds to his stress.
    via u/Master_Boss5842
  • 07
    I tried to explain that it is not about the money or his work. I know he works hard, but it feels like he is completely absent from our lives. He went to bed angry, and now I am questioning if I was wrong to say anything at all.
    via u/Master_Boss5842
  • 08
    I do not expect him to suddenly have endless free time, but I feel like he could make an effort to prioritize his family in some way. Am I the ah_le for telling him how I feel, or am I being unfair given everything he does for us?
    via u/Master_Boss5842
  • 09
    BurdyBurdyBurdy You're right, they are his kids too. One day he will come home and his kids won't want anything to do with him because he hasn't been present. I was like him once until one of my kids called me the nanny's name. That k lled me and I realized what I was doing. There is always time to be with your family. He needs to make the effort. I did it and it didn't affect my work in the least. I hope he wakes up before it's too late.
    via u/BurdyBurdyBurdy
  • 10
    BoxBeast1961 Why have a second kid if you hate your situation so much?
    via u/BoxBeast1961
  • 11
    Gold-Pilot-8676 And if she already has a nanny with one kid and still feels like this, it's going to be so much worse when the second one comes.
    via u/Gold-Pilot-8676
  • 12
    Qyphosis Yeah. She lost me at nanny. I mean, she knew what she was signing on for with his work hours when she married him. But then to complain about having to organize the nanny. Hahah. Must be nice.
    via u/Qyphosis
  • 13
    MyFruitPies Maybe reframe it. You appreciate all he does, but you don't think he appreciates what he's going to be missing out on in the long run. When the kids are in their 20s and don't come to him for advice or to share a joke or a the story of their day, just money, he'll resent them but he'll have been the one that made it like that. How a man is in his relationships determines what they will become. And you have children to hopefully have a good relationship with them when they're grown. A
    via u/MyFruitPies
  • 14
    Ihibri This is honestly a really good strategy. It's not coming at him accusatory but concerned for what he will lose. It should appeal to his pride.
    via u/Ihibri
  • 15
    VTHome203 You got caught up in the lifestyle. You did (or didn't?) understand what your role was/is. Been there. I bet you have no idea exactly how/where he spends his time and with whom. Not accusatory, but you need to wake up and decide.
    via u/VTHome203
  • 16
    DomesticMongol Thats a very normal workload came with 7 figure salary.
    via u/DomesticMongol
  • 17
    Alternative_Rope_632 You're single parenting with a benefactor. Enjoy!
    via u/Alternative_Rope_632
  • 18
    New_Nobody9492 Not exactly a single parent, she has a nanny. OP and the nanny are co-parenting.
    via u/New_Nobody9492
  • 19
    green_chapstick Not all parenting is caring for and tending to. Her children have no idea who their father even is. Sounds like a single parent to me. They aren't neglected by legal standards, but relationships have more nuance than that.
    via u/green_chapstick
  • 20
    Zealousideal_Fail946 Busy is a choice. If he believes he has to do it all alone then, nothing will change. Lee lacocca of Chrysler once wrote an executive of his proudly told him that he had gone several years without a vacation. Mr lacocca called him an idiot and told him to prioritize his family first or he was going to lose them.
    via u/Zealousideal_Fail946
  • 21
    Equal-Stitches They likely live a certain lifestyle where if he stopped working, they'd have to cut out a lot. Can we really assume she'd be okay with her husband cutting his salary in half if that means no new chanel bags and no house keepers? Him making less money might mean she has less luxury. She might not be willing to make those sacrifices
    via u/Equal-Stitches
  • 22
    blueeyedaisy A full time nanny and house keeper. Holy macaroni. There is not much left to absorb your time if you have this much help. I am going to guess you were trying to say that you want your husband home more. It is hard to feel sorry for you when you have time to get your hair & nails done, go to the gym and lunch with your friends knowing your place is clean and your child is cared for.
    via u/blueeyedaisy
  • 23
    Alesisdrum A nanny and housekeeper are nice but not a replacement to a loving family and partner. I get it, they have money but money does not buy emotional support
    via u/Alesisdrum
  • 24
    boredomspren Jesus, you're letting your jealousy blind you to all she said about being unhappy about not having her husband present in the life of her kids.
    via u/boredomspren_
  • 25
    LivingLifeDayAtATime 7 figure role and you think he'll have a job that WON'T consume his life/time? Goodluck.
    via u/LivingLifeDayAtATime
  • 26
    No_Afternoon_3569 YTA Coming from someone whose life is similar to yours I can relate. My husband is a CEO works crazy hours and travels a lot I raised our 3 daughters. However I just accepted that was who he was I never expected him to change and he didn't. I appreciated we have nice homes and we could afford nice holidays and good schools. Appreciate what you have. Don't compare your pampered life to what someone who is struggling and lacking in support deals with. We are lucky in some ways ev
    via u/No_Afternoon_3569
  • 27
    RVAlmostThere At the risk of getting fileted, I'll share the story of my former boss. His wife took it upon herself to bring their daughters by for planned lunches, or pack them all a dinner for late nights. At first I was like "tf?" But it made me see she was committed to them not getting caught in the trappings of the lifestyle at the sacrifice of their actual family. Those girls are adults now, and it's one of his fondest memories. Perhaps, OP, you can do this a couple times a week with the s
    via u/RVAlmostThere
  • 28
    Mean-Vegetable-4521 YTA you aren't a single parent. How does everything fall on you with a full time nanny and housekeeper? What do you do with your time? Seriously, what do you do with your time? With love, a full time single parent. If we eat it, I cook it. If it's dirty, I clean it. If someone cries, I wipe their tears. If someone , I wipe it. If I don't do those things it remains until I do. And I work. I picked this life. You picked yours. World's smallest violin.
    via u/Mean-Vegetable-4521

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